Every old house has it’s own charm and personality, that little something that makes a house a home… Like when you smell a fresh baked apple pie cooling in the window sill or a 25lb dead raccoon under your house?

Adam had an unsettling experience when he woke up the other day to a funny-angry sort of smell coming from the living room. He arose in a slight panic thinking that one of the kids might of blessed the house with a brown benevolent booty bomb in the shape of Benjamin Franklin’s kite the second after it was struck by lightning. Adam creeped into the living room only to have the smell grow stronger, but the fear of the children “leaving out their toy’s” burn out like a match after one using the toilet between commercials. The origin of the smell was now a mystery for there was no sight of anything that would cause such a smell… where was it coming from?

Adam took an involuntary deep breath… A sinking feeling fell throughout Adam’s whole soul like he had just seen Patrick Swayze through Demi Moore’s eyes and it was the year 1990, he knew that this had happened before… It was a case of Déjà -POO!!!

The ghostly poo sent that was haunting Adam’s house was WALKING THROUGH THE WALLS AND FLOOR! There was SOMETHING DEAD UNDER THE HOUSE! Adam went outside and took a look under the house… there it was… THE SMELL! Adam remembered that two years ago to this very day a possum had died under the house and it made the very same smell. Adam knew what he had to do!

Adam collected some trash bags, a flashlight and his weegie board and began to crawl under the house. There was many battles he had to overcome but within 30 minutes of that hot Florida morning he was the victor. Adam found a 25lb non-italian dead raccoon under the house, he packed it up and disposed of it quickly and in time for Wast Management to pick it up that day.

After washing out his eye’s with tomato juice and lavender Adam sat down in his living room and relaxed there for the remainder of the day. Adam is the king of his living room once again!

Long live Adam, SO SAY WE ALL!

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm and is filed under house. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.